Monday, June 28, 2010

What We're Watching...

You may be aware that we no longer watch TV. Well, the other night - after a long day of work and moving stuff - I did not feel like doing anything, so I plopped down in front of the TV with my in-laws to the last part of "America's Got Talent." There were some idiots who dressed in the most retarded discombobulation of "rock" outfits imaginable and played "air instruments" while recorded music played. Their "stage presence" was, so they were told, enough to get them voted onward to the next trial in Las Vegas.

I was struck by how highly edited this show is (and by how truly UN-talented the contestants were).

At the end, they showed the previously jam-packed waiting room. It was empty, but for one little old lady. I had the distinct impression that this had been recorded separately from the other segments, but I wasn't sure. After all, I can't imagine all those hundreds, if not thousands, of hopefuls simply packing up and going home after being told that this little old lady would be the final act.

She wobbled out onto the stage with the help of her walker. She was dressed ordinarily. She removed a block of wood and stood on it - because one leg is slightly shorter than the other. And then, her act: she whistled a patriotic tune by blowing into her hands. At least, I think that's what it was supposed to be. Her whistling was weak, and her talent lacking. Why was she on this show? I asked myself. And then, her true purpose was revealed. Why, she had written a book about her hand-whistling! Howie Mandel jumped to the stage and bought one, then offered to read a passage to Mrs. Ozzy Osbourne. The old lady blurted out, "Be careful which passage you read! It's not just about hand-whistling; it's a "coming out" story, too!" At which point, the three guest judges sang her praise, called her a hero, and she was applauded for being so forthright about her sexuality.


So, the next day. We are cleaning up and moving things at my grandparents' house. My grandfather watches TV incessantly (we'll see how this plays out...) and today is no different. During our time there, I go through the living room several times and see snippets of the three television programs he watches in that time frame. What I see is this:

1) A cop/detective-type show. The episode revolves around a guy who is murdering gay guys. This affords the opportunity for a graphic discussion of men having sex, and gives viewers the idea that homosexuals are being singled out for persecution, which, in real life, is entirely NOT the case.

2) Another cop/detective-type show (My wife thinks it may have been another episode of the same show). This episode focuses on the murder of a little girl by a little boy because the girl has "two mommies." When the cop questions the alleged murderer, he says he did it because lesbianism is wrong and that "the Bible says homosexuality is a sin." The cop tells the boy that he "doesn't remember reading that in the Bible." Once again, this sends home the misconception that homosexuals are a persecuted group. Which, once again, they are not. Of course, it also leads people to believe a lie about the content of the Bible, but who reads that anymore, anyway, right? At least, that's what they're counting on.

3) After all this, my grandparents watch Ellen, who proudly boasts about some cutesy comments that were made by "her wife." Last I heard, we were still debating this one as a society, with the majority opinion on the side of Ellen having a "lesbian lover" and not a "wife."

What I want you to consider is this: Every movie, every television program you watch is pieced together by a committee, who decide very carefully, and very deliberately, the content that they will present to you and your children. It is not just some shows that just happen to be about homosexuality, which is what they want you to think. It is intentional indoctrination. (Really. I wish I could point you to the DVD extra I was watching where the writers and editors were discussing the entire drawn-out process.) The Socialist Left - a group that contains a great many of the Hollywood elite - are gearing up to pass some major legislation in the coming months. One, the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA), they would like to repeal, but in order to do that they have to convince enough people that homosexuals are being victimized. Second, gay marriage is coming back in California, as well as other places, and in order to pass, they have to - you guessed it - convince the gullible masses that homosexuals are being victimized and persecuted.

So, what are we watching at our house? We're watching you. And we're hoping you're smarter than Hollywood thinks you are.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010


Nathalie Nizhoni Nauvoo Klingler
Born March 5, 2010

Baby Nathalie and Daddy

First smile caught on film

One of her many faces

Very dramatic

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Surprise! Another post!

Just wanted to share some of the haps:

1. After much harassment from family and friends, I have finally joined America's newest biggest time-waster: facebook. This is a "Bumper Sticker" I made for it:

2. Some of the most interesting things happen at Wal-mart. These aren't all new, per se, but I have been sharing them to save. ... Wait. Strike that, reverse it. There are just too many intriguing things there to let all the crappy customers ruin it entirely. These are one-gallon orange juice containers, all carefully smashed in:

This looked like deer droppings, at first, but up close it looked more like malformed donut holes. In the end, we never were quite sure:

3. As we were leaving the Sacramento Tax Day Tea Party, we noticed this sign, and thought it was indicative of the new economy. As our dollars are swiftly becoming worthless, you may now pay your parking fees "in kind." This machine takes eggs; the one across the street accepts whole chickens and goats:

4. Nathalie got her eyes checked. She has googly-eye-tis:

5. Our kids have discovered the Japanese phenomenon of papercraft:

6. Went down to the local D.I. (Deseret Industries thrift shop), and saw this parked out front. The goth details were all made out of aluminum foil, which I assume was wrapped around wire or something. We thought it was cool.

7. Nathalie's (French) mother made desserts for a recent family gathering. These are some of the most beautiful things I have ever eaten (and delicious, too!):

8. At the store yesterday, Nathalie grabbed the new Pringle's "Super Stacker," a canister that is larger than the regular one. As you can see, it was approximately one-third empty upon opening. Seriously, I only took one chip out before it struck me how far down I had to reach. Buyer beware, as they say.

9. Oh yeah! We found these yummy-tasting caramel-flavored Tootsie Pops, and I got one that was hollow! Hello?! What good is a "Tootsie" Pop without the Tootsie?!? ... "How many licks does it take to get to the- WTF?!?"

10. Last, but not least, Annika shared a recap of the recent car accident. Transcript below.

Daddy: Okay, Annika, what were you just telling me about the car crash?

Annika: Um, the driver window breaked, and the "get in your seat" window breaked, cracked. And the driver window cracked.

Daddy: And then what happened?

Annika: I was... we were just fussing, and Ivan threw up on Mama's chair.

Friday, April 10, 2009

Recent Hullaballoo

I got yer update RIGHT HERE!

So what if I haven't updated this blog since last Sept. 11th? I'm updating it now, and you're gonna like it!!!


On Wednesday, Nathalie temporarily lost control of her grandfather's car while driving on the freeway in the rain. She was swerving to avoid rapidly decelerating vehicles in front of her. When she regained control, the car jerked to the left and she was struck by another vehicle that was attempting to go around her. This was the result:

Nathalie was in the second fastest lane, and the car jerked into the fast lane. The collision put the car back into it's original lane, in proper fashion, exactly parallel to the lines.

When the firemen arrived, they carried the kids one by one from the wreckage to a waiting patrol car. Later, Annika told Nathalie that the firemen and policemen "kidnapped her" and took her to the police car.

I was supposed to take our own car to get a leak checked, so Nathalie had to use this car. When I moved Annika's car seat to Opa's car, I felt that I should put it behind the driver's seat instead of her usual spot on the passenger's side. This may have saved a life, and definitely saved some broken bones - no one was hurt in any significant manner. Haley and Ivan both got a few minor cuts from flying glass, and Nathalie got some minor whiplash. Here, Haley documents her injuries on the way home (after I came and picked them up in our car):

We took the kids home and immediately gave them baths to clean them of the glass fragments. As Haley is washing herself, she tells us that she is trying to think of a way to repay Heavenly Father for protecting them.

Opa Update

Well, having come full circle in life, Opa exclusively "eats, sleeps, and poops" again, just as he did when he first came into the world. Here, he takes a break from all that eating and sleeping, and prepares to poop.

Cool Things

Our friendly neighborhood Sanrio store (i.e., the Hello Kitty store), at Arden Mall, carries a small selection of Japanese import items. Recently, we found Totoro puzzles!

Haley's car was the "Most Colorful" of all in the recent Achievement Day Girls Pinewood Derby!

As if the car crash weren't enough, our kids were abducted by the fierce Midget Pirates of Willygoat on a recent trip to the Lego store.

Actually, we spent 2-1/2 hours, mostly waiting in line (with hundreds of other people), to participate in a free Lego build. The kids got to keep the little Lego bunnies that they made. In my enthusiasm, I neglected to take a picture. Did I mention that it was FREE? Did I mention that we spent 2-1/2 HOURS standing on an immaculate marble slope, when we were supposed to be grocery shopping!!! Did I mention that the store we spent most of our time in front of was proudly displaying anti-American t-shirts in their window featuring Palestinians with AK-47's? Ever heard of a crappy ghetto store called "Up Against The Wall?" Call them, and tell them that they suck.

On a previous mall trip, Annika got drunk and rode the carousel for 6 hours straight. What were we supposed to do?!? She's three years old now! She can take care of herself!

This is a bowl of lemons. With a magazine on top.

This is how we entertain ourselves in the new economy.


Well, we have done several things since the last time I posted (*cough*September 11th*cough*), and these certainly were some of them. If you were real friends, you were probably with us as we celebrated Pi Day, in true math nerd fashion, on 3/14, and Edward Gorey's birthday, in eclectic goth nerd fashion, on 2/22.

Maybe, just maybe, we'll post again before next September 11th.

Thursday, September 11, 2008

Stand And Be Counted

This afternoon, we all went out to a busy strip of road next to a high school just at the time that school let out, and parents were coming to get their kids, and also around the time people were just starting to come home from work. Last night, we made signs. We stood at this intersection for about 1 hour and 45 minutes.

We got a few "thumbs down," one guy who stopped and yelled unintelligible things from his car, and one crazy lady screaming "NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO!" at the top of her lungs, like we were about to about to commit infanticide or something. Funny about those Liberals, they poop their pants if you don't let gays get married, and they whoop and holler in favor of Obama, who actively supports baby murder.

On a brighter note, the large majority of responses were positive, from horns honked supportively, to comments, "thumbs up," and even a "Thank you!"

Overall, it was a great success.

We decided to do this on a whim, because we know that this time we're playing for keeps. All of us, quiet, keep-it-to-ourselves, Conservatives have to stand up now, and be counted. We need to let the world know that we will not let radicals and activists destroy our society. We also realized that many people don't know anything about the propositions that they will be asked to vote on in November. We wanted to make sure that those people were made aware of what Prop 8 was, and also wanted to show other Conservatives that it is okay to stand up for what is right. I kept having this verse from the Doctrine and Covenants run through my mind:

For there are many yet on the earth among all sects, parties, and denominations, who are blinded by the subtle craftiness of men, whereby they lie in wait to deceive, and who are only kept from the truth because they know not where to find it— (D&C 123:12)

We invite all like-minded individuals, couples, and especially families, to make their own signs and stand up and be counted! Remember, there are only 2 months until election day!

We also printed quarter-sheet flyers to hand out, which you can download from here (.doc format).

If you have any cool friends, we think it would be cool to have one individual, couple, or family posted at every intersection for several blocks in a row along a busy street.

If you do anything, please let us know in the comments! A link to pics would be nice!

PS - Oh, and don't forget to check with property owners if you are not on public land, like a sidewalk. We left the sidewalk for a shady spot on the grass. This grass is apparently considered part of the high school we were beside, and someone tattled on us. The cops showed up and asked if anyone else was coming, but when we told them it was just our little family, and they saw that there was no shade on the sidewalk, they told us they would go smooth things out for us with the school. It was a little surprising to have them stop, but everything went fine! Yay for nice cops!!!

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Americans R Dumb

WARNING! More Americans can name their own children than can name four Greek Philosophers!!!"

I hate all of these stupid news stories about how "DUMB" Americans are. Take this link (click here) to an article in the South Bend (Indiana) Tribune. This insightful article points out that more Americans can name two characters from "The Simpson's" than can name two of the freedoms granted in the First Amendment... Translation: "More Americans know something about something they see and talk about all the time than about something they never hear about or discuss!" I have two things to say: 1) If you could get people to watch a show about the First Amendment on a regular basis, then they would obviously know more about it, and 2) the First Amendment is often the subject of "The Simpson's", so it could be argued...

Kids Are Parasites

Okay, let's get one thing straight: I love my children. However... as I have been thinking about the responsibilities of parenthood, I have come to the conclusion that our home is merely a Boarding House for the Unemployed, Uneducated, and Unappreciative! Things aren't going your way? Just scream about it. Didn't get the proper cup in the preferred color? Cry about it! Want something? Now? You know what to do!

Honestly, I probably have the best kids in the world and therefore have no right to complain, but coming out of nearly 2 full weeks of oversensitive, vomiting, sick, tearful children, I just needed to make myself feel better. And now I do.

PS- I posted this a while ago on my original blog, but I thought I'd re-post it here. Just for fun!